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I've thought about it, and the only way it might ever work is if it was one of you X's that was the focus of this group. It would have to be either Joyce or Brenda, and I'd vote for Joyce." I'd vote for Brenda." She laughed when she said it. I knew she meant it, but I also knew she didn't believe that was what would ever be decided by the group."No matter how it turns out, Brenda will still be your main focus, Emily. You have to be able to accept that you won't always be Brenda's main focus. I think it would be healthier for you and me, if we allowed Joyce to be Brenda's main focus. We wouldn't always have to be competing, and we both know that Brenda's real main focus will always be Brenda." What about Shirley?" Same thing for Shirley, as it is for Brenda, but for a different set of reasons. Shirley needs Joyce's stability, just like I do. If she focuses on Joyce, she'll be concentrating on the most stable part of this group. All the rest of us might, and probably will, rebel at. Would it be something we'd both come to regret? Have guilty thoughts about for letting it happen? Would what happened eventually ruin what we'd only recently managed to bring together. The closeness of a relationship we'd once shared.I soon after went upstairs to bed myself, walking past my sister's closed bedroom door. The lights were off as evidenced by the darkness coming from beneath the door. I stopped briefly, considering whether to knock on her door or not, and then thought better of it, walking down the hallway towards my room.I didn't get a hell of a lot of sleep that night.I had eventually dozed off yes, but it was a very restless sleep. Waking the moment I heard her bedroom door open and then close, followed by footsteps heading down the hall towards the stairs. I sat up in bed, too wired ... unable to sleep any more."Might as well face the music," I told myself. Now that time had passed between us, I had a pretty good idea that if there was a problem now, I'd see it.
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